Faith > fear

It is a beautiful Monday afternoon. The sun is finally shinning after days of cloudy cold days (in May even!) I feel like I neglect the blog until something large happens, I'm really trying to fix that - I think every night this past week I sat down to blog and just didn't have the energy or may I was just process all the things that have happened in the past few weeks.

Our company conference came and went, my presentations were mediocre at best. Though, I was obedient to God and completed them despite my obvious discomfort. He can use all my skills - even the ones I don't feel are worthy of using. I feel that by being obedient he was able to speak through me and grown this particular skill so I will be more comfortable speaking in front of large groups. I can def. tell a difference from before to after - I'm getting more confident, one presentation at a time. :o)

This past Wednesday I was informed (via phone call nonetheless) that the in-home services were being discontinued for various reasons I won't list on the internet (you never know who is watching right?!) lol. I was basically told I was no longer needed and could be done that day if I wanted - I asked to finish out the week (which really only ended up being the next day cause all my stuff was up to date and taken care of).  God answered my prayers in this decision, I had been on the fence for months - not satisfied due to different philosophies/personality issues etc. Nothing is more definitive than being downsized. I praise God for this decision, and in reality I'm not upset of loosing the job - but more so in how it was handled. No notice to me, my staff or my families. The company lacks true professionalism and at the end of the day when I thought about my position and if I had done my job to the best of my ability the answer was a peaceful and clear - yes. I did my best, I was a team player, and even though they may try and deface me to others -- I know, and more importantly God knows that I did my job to the best of my abilities and for his Glory. I love these precious kiddos I work with. 

So back on the job market again, I'm getting all my ducks in a row to provide services independently. I'm frustrated by the lack of collaboration in KC concerning ABA services, everyone is out to top the other. In Waco, I was blessed to work with some amazing BCBA's who worked together and supported one another. None of this cut throat crap like it is here in KC. If I can get enough kids to sustain paying the loans I'll be happy. I'm also looking into a few other options, local school district and another clinic. Lots of prayers going up - I want the next position to be one that lasts the duration that we're here - I'm really tired of frustrating jobs that downsize at the end of my contract. sigh. God's moving right?! He's in control of all situations and circumstance and I've learned valuable information along the way.

All about the process right?! lol.

Well, that's what's new in my world. How are you ?